Tuesday, December 2, 2014

How to choose a family law lawyer, Repost of an article by Gary Direnfield

Dear readers

Just got sent this info from Gary Direnfield who is a Canadian writer with Hamilton Spectator, a Canadian newspaper. I thought the article was very relevant and decided to repost it.

Direnfeld: Lawyer will set the tone for divorce discussions

Hamilton Spectator

By Gary Direnfeld

SEE MOREarticles from this author

Q: I just separated and I am furious with my ex and I am worried about how we are going to care for the kids. I met with a few lawyers, but I am having trouble picking one I should work with. Do you have any suggestions?

A: The lawyer you chose will likely set the tone and direction for your entire settlement process.

Choosing a lawyer who will only channel your upset into that settlement process will likely escalate conflict and prolong settlement. The higher the conflict and longer the settlement process, the greater the costs, financially and emotionally. The likelihood of continuing a reasonable co-parenting relationship will also be diminished as the residual anger will live on way past any settlement achieved.

In choosing a lawyer, you want someone familiar with the issues you are grappling with; someone who maintains a practice committed to family law; and most importantly, someone who won't tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to know.

If your lawyer only strokes your ego, seeks to appease you and act as your mouthpiece, then you may have one that will inadvertently ratchet up the very conflict that prompted your separation in the first place.

Further, if your lawyer is ready to jump to action only on the basis of your account of issues, then too, your conflict may be inadvertently escalated.

Find a lawyer who appears reasonable, listens closely, yet seeks to understand what may be prompting the issues on the other side and also looks to understand your own contribution to distress. After that, consider the lawyer who supports nonlitigious strategies to achieve settlement. These include mediation, collaborative law and lawyer-assisted negotiation. Your lawyer should be able to explain the differences in these approaches and if your lawyer cannot or appears dismissive of them, move on.

Remember, your lawyer is not your therapist. Do not work out your anger with your ex through the legal process, but attend counselling if that is an issue. You want your lawyer to remain reasonable and help you focus on peaceful resolution even if addressing challenging issues.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Update on the Royce and Edie Hoy Poy Foundation for Aged Care Inc

Dear readers

Many of you will remember Edie and Royce Hoy Poy who were very much involved with the Chung Wah Association and their care of the aged in the association.

Edie and Royce left their estate in my care together with Theresa Kwok, Thomas Goh and Esther Chang. She also involved her nephews Grant and Neville and her niece Jacquie Farrace in the foundation which she asked me to set up to help the aged.

It has been a good 3 years since Edie passed away. I have been plodding along trying to find a property to perpetuate her wishes of looking after the aged.

The Foundation has finally purchased a block in Thornlie which is about 910 sqm.

Please visit http://www.hoypoyfoundation.org.au to read about the foundation and what we are doing for the aged.

Do drop me an email if you think you can help.

Night.

Raymond Tan

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Buying a franchise business

Dear readers

Are you thinking of buying a franchised business? It may be a good idea especially if you have never been in business before. However, the first step is to get advice to make sure the franchise is a good fit for you. Have a listen to the videocast below for some hints.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Raymond Tan

Location:East Perth,Australia

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Do you want to sign a bank guarantee?

Dear readers

I just saw a client regarding the signing of a bank guarantee.

I had previously blogged on the perils of signing a bank guarantee. The blog post is at http://tanandtanlawyers.blogspot.com.au/2010/09/do-you-want-to-be-guarantor.html

For those who do not like to read. Here is a videocast on why you should not sign a bank guarantee.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Raymond Tan

Location:East Perth,Australia

Friday, September 19, 2014

Loans of moneys to children

Dear readers

What happens when you transfer moneys to your children to buy a property?

Was there a loan of the money or were the money gifted to them.

This may have serious consequences if your children then split up with their spouse.

Have a listen to the Videocast.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Raymond Tan

Location:East Perth,Australia

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Do you want to be a director of a company

Dear friends

If you are being asked to be a director of a company, I suggest you listen to this podcast.

Directors of companies have significant responsibilities especially if the company is found to be insolvent. So tread with care if you want to be a director.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Raymond Tan

Location:Terrace Road,East Perth,Australia

Location:East Perth,Australia

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Enduring Powers of attorney and guardianship

Dear readers

Have returned to Perth after spending time with my mum in hospital.

I think an enduring power of attorney is an issue that needs to be considered by all clients when facing failing health. Here is a video which might help.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Oxford Street,Kensington,Australia

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Getting ready to leave Singapore

Dear readers

It has been a tough few days watching my mum deal with her failing health.

Kenneth and Serene have been great hosts. Having wine with Kenneth at the end of a long day of caring for mum has been a real relief.

I leave knowing big brother Charles and my other siblings will do a great job looking after her.

The boys said their good byes to her tonight. I managed to spend quite a few hrs holding her hand while she slept. The memories of all she has done for the Tan family brings a few tears to my eyes and I grab my sunglasses so no one can see my tears.

I believe mum has the strength to get out of this weak spell as her voice is still strong.

I am confident I will have to return in Jan to see her again. She has the sort of fighting spirit that got her to being the mother of 10 kids and 25 grand kids and at least 5 great grand kids.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Yishun Ring Road,Yishun,Singapore

Saturday, August 23, 2014

My mum's failing health

Dear readers

I am sitting at the National University Hospital at Kent Ridge in Singapore. My 86 years old mum is beside me on the hospital bed.

She was hospitalized here initially after a fall 1 month ago. The doctors ascertained that she had 2 blood clots and a fracture of her hip. She was transferred to the Rehab hospital after 3 weeks. She had to be moved from the rehab hospital back to NUH after getting a chest infection.

Through out all these issues, the children have been by her side.

Of special note and thanks needs to go to my eldest brother Charles. Charles has been by mum's side for most of this time. He has won my deepest respect and appreciation for all he has done for mum.

Video of big brother patiently getting mum to exercise.

Serene tells me that Charles have been shouted at quite a few times by mum when she has refused to eat and take her medicine.

Brother Lawrence and Wee Seng have been supportive through out the experience both emotionally and financially.

Brother Stewart and sister Rinda both flew down from Australia to take their turns to look after her.

I only managed to fly in with my family on Thursday to take my turn to look after her.

My sister Serene and husband, Kenneth have both spent time looking after her and I am so grateful. Even her daughter Deborah flew back to do her tour of duty.

The nurses here have been great and I am most impressed with the hospital system and facilities.

The difficulty every one is facing is that mum refuses to eat. This has not helped in her recovery.

She even refuses to take her medication , instead shouting at the patient nurses telling them "don't want" in English.

My admiration for the nursing profession grows with each day of difficult caring for my mum who refuses to eat or take her medication.

The change from grand matriarch to now aging and regressing grand mum is having an impact on me emotionally. She now acts like a sultry and disobedient child. I have downloaded some children's games on the iPad so as to keep her occupied.

I even downloaded a mahjong game. That was one of her greatest joys in life. Even that managed to keep her occupied for 10 mins only. Never mind, at least it was 10 mins of mental stimulation.

She could only recognize myself, Annie and niuniu who is Jazton. She could not recognize Tyzton who was quite sad that he had been forgotten.

She is sleeping now. She insisted on going down for a walk after we returned from the lunch walkabout. The hospital is quite good in that you can enjoy restaurants and kopitiams at a few places within walking distance.

The problem is after bringing her down and walking for a 1/2 hr or so, she then insists on going back to the ward as she says she has stomach ache.

This is not helped by her not eating regularly.

Once she is back up at the ward, she asked to go for a walk again and I have to ask the nurses nicely, to help her onto the wheelchair.

So much character and strength was learnt from my mum who brought up her 10 children and countless grand children.

Her pawn tickets still take pride of place on my office wall and is a constant topic of discussion when my client asks me what the pawn tickets are.

Those are the tickets that she received when she had to pawn her jewelry when we were poor. I often remember having to tell the primary and secondary teachers that I did not have the school fees for the month.

And now thanks to her and my various siblings, I have been able to send my sons to one of the best private schools in WA.

I am only staying till Monday and return to Perth knowing my other siblings will continue to look after her in my absence.

Location:Singapore, National University Hospital

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

New Ads in Bridal magazine

Dear friends

I had a brainwave a few weeks ago. I received an invite to advertise in a bridal magazine. I started thinking about what a bride should be doing before tying the knot.

Well, the first thing is to protect what assets they have. Many brides come from well to do families where the parents have actually given substantial assets to their daughters. How to protect those assets from a greedy grabbing partner. Yes, a binding financial agreement is what is needed. It is essentially a pre nup.

See the ads for more info.

More importantly, a marriage means a new will has to be prepared or your new spouse automatically gets at least half your assets.

Please check with your lawyer if you are getting married.

Night.